Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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