It's Friday. Sex?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize