Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
