I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
