i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize