I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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