All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
