i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
