When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
