I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
