Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
