Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
