Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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