The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
