You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
