I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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