Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She needs sedatives and a leash
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Pants are for mortals
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
