I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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