im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
