what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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