party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
