I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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