Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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