it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
