i jhust puked up my retainher.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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