new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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