new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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