And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
