I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
