He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
