My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i will never coherently bang her
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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