I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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