Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
