Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
