you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
