We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Come on in and take your pants off
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