I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
