That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
