I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
