He uses pillows to masturbate.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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