wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
