Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Blood and glitter go together right?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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