return my video game
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Let's get the cat blown out
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
