Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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