I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
