Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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