Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
