"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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