I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
