Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
