we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
