wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
