Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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