Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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