i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
