Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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