They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Houston, we have a blender
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
