you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
