Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
