Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
