I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
