plz talk dirty to me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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