i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
