I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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