mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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