I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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