Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
