I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
