I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize