is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Will exercising make me less horny?
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