Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
