Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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