my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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