Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My vagina just clenched in fear
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
