Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
